So They Say

I really don't feel like writing tonight, but I looked at Daddy's Facebook page and thought that so many of you would want an update from Indianapolis. It was a downright crappy day for him. He got there at 8:30 in the morning for a 1:30 appointment. He did not see the doctor until 4:30. He had a CAT scan, blood draws, etc. They found the source of his cancer. It started in the bile duct (of the liver). This is a shocker. Apparently it's a very rare (and aggressive) form- although we don't know if it will be anymore aggressive than if it had started in the pancreas. There are two protocols for treatment. We really have no idea how they will work- if they will work. There is a 30% chance that they will temporarily stop the growth. There is no plan for surgery. Daddy will start chemo the week after Christmas. As of now, we believe he will have it once a week for three weeks and then one week off. He will be treated in Terre Haute and seen in Indy.

I just want to share one thing tonight. Please, if you want to take something from this journey- take this. Don't wait. Don't wait to fix relationships, to tell people you love them, to visit the places you want to, to find the things that give your life meaning. I know- we all see sad stories on the news or in the lives of the people around us. We think that we'll learn from them, then life gets in the way and we move on without changing. I can honestly tell you that I have no regrets about my life with Daddy. None. So please don't let this be another cliche moment. Please appreciate the time you have.

And just one more thing (because I know Daddy would say this too)- get out of debt. That may seem silly, stupid or minute compared to the larger issue here, but you haven't seen what we've seen. Walking through the journey to debt freedom together bonded my Daddy and me more than just about anything. We shared our struggles and our triumphs. And now, when the world rips apart, he has a measure of freedom. He knows that he has served my mother well, that she will not have to worry about her finances. I know he will tell you that we all know that God led him on the journey to debt freedom not just to make his earthly life easier, but so that his transition to eternal life could be even more joyful. So it's not minute, people. It's real. Daddy and Mom are free and we hope you will be too.

Dear Daddy,
This is like torture for a control freak, isn't it? In one of the last emails you wrote to me, you said that you and I were always at the center of every storm and we wouldn't have it any other way. Of course you were right. But we put ourselves at the center because we want to help steer the ship.  We like to have some form of control, a sense that we help determine our own future. Now we're dumped in the middle of this storm, and I feel like I'm trying to steer and I can't get a grip on the wheel. I know, though, that we still have some control. YOU have some control. You can't decide the outcome, but you can decide everything in between. I'll be your hands and feet when you're too tired. I'll stand in the storm when you can't. You just tell me what the plan is and I'll make it happen. You can trust me. I love you.