I Never...But I DID...

(Writer's Note: This is a Dave post again...)

This disease causes one to take stock of their life: did I (or WILL I) accomplish everything I'd hoped?  Has all this been in vain (with apologies to Solomon)?  I'm not talking about a "Bucket List," (about which I have mixed emotions), but rather things like the following:

I never got to be a rescue worker like I wanted to as a child watching the obscure TV program "Rescue 8,"...but I DID get to help friends of ours save their marriage;

I never got to live in the old west with a rifle at my side like "The Rifleman,"... but I DID get to shoot with my brother Bruce and my sons TJ and John;

I was never as good a fisherman as I'd hoped...but I've had the BEST fishing buddies my whole life: Mouse, Joe, John Z. and John H.;

I never got to be good at sports, even though I love baseball and football...but I DID get to coach both my kids and enjoy the special closeness that a game of catch in the summer sunshine brings;

I never had many friends as a kid...but I DID get blessed with several wonderful, close, beloved friends throughout my lifetime - especially NOW;

I didn't have a very good family life as a kid, growing up with alcoholic parents and an abusive father...but I DID, with my beautiful bride, raise the two most wonderful, loving, strong, together children EVER;

I never could run very fast...but I can run JUST fast enough to catch my grandchildren;

I never was a ladies man...but I managed to get THE most beautiful, talented, loving woman at Illinois State University in January, 1975;

I never felt I was a very good co-worker...but I have the best co-workers anywhere I know of.  THANK YOU, especially Darlene and Michelle;

I never was very good in school...but I was good enough to get the degree that has been SO good to me for so long, and had the honor of teaching THOUSANDS of students over the years;

I never was good looking...but my granddaughter LOVES my short hair;

I wasn't able to avoid making some of the mistakes my parents made with me while my kids were young...but I DID convey, almost every day, how very much I love my children and how very, very proud of them I have ALWAYS been;

I never was as strong and exemplary a Christian as I had hoped to be...but I AM being given extra time now to try to do just that.

Loved ones, I urge you to consider every, single moment we have as God's gift.  Our time is really HIS time; eventually we have to give it back.  CHERISH the moments you have with your most precious ones and don't take the time - or them - for granted.  If there are friends or family with whom you need to share your faith or yourself......DO it. 

God has richly blessed me; I see that more clearly now than I ever could have before.  I am not bitter, angry or even scared...I know what comes next for me :-)  I am enjoying living life right NOW...more alive, in fact, than I was before the diagnosis.  I may not have done EVERYTHING...but I did SOME things  ;-)

Dear Mouse,

You know how I worry, especially now, about leaving things "undone."  We (you and I) are SOOOO alike that way.  Sometimes I wonder if I've left something - ANYTHING undone or unsaid with you or Joe.  I hope not.  Sadness at a time like this is unavoidable; regret ISN'T.

I love you more than my next breath.

xxOx
Daddy